Everything happens for a reason

10 May 2019

      Does everything really happen for a reason? I think so. Where does this belief come from? Some time ago there was an extraordinary breakthrough in my life that gave me a lot to think about and significantly changed my worldview, approach to other people and myself. What happened? Here's my story.

       A few years ago, I found myself at a very difficult point in my life. I worked in a gloomy office in a company that had very high expectations without providing any prospects for its employees. There was no respect or motivation. Frustration was therefore inevitable. When it came and things turned ugly, and the light in the tunnel, heralding a chance to improve the situation, did not want to appear, something in me snapped. I told myself and my employer "Enough!", I packed my bags, so to speak, and left. And then everything in my life began to fall apart.

   I was looking for a new job for months. Unsuccessfully. I was sending many applications for various positions, even those below my qualifications. Because it is known that a drowning man will clutch a straw. I often had various thoughts and memories from some interviews. There were so many of them that the more I thought about them, the harder it was to deduce anything from the reaction of the recruiter. Sometimes, I was sure that I would be invited to the next stage of the recruitment process or that the position would be mine, but, unfortunately, then there was disappointment.

       Unemployment became my personal horror story. Every day was uncertain and full of the unknown. A mystery, what tomorrow will bring, which was in no way predictable. It was tiring. It tormented me cruelly and haunted me all the time. The days were getting darker, even when the sun was shining, and I could go for a walk or sit in the garden. However, the sun was not shining twenty-four hours a day, so my nightmare started just after dark. A time when all the ghostly thoughts flew into my head like swarms of flies to a flypaper. And they stuck like this, torturing my mind, sometimes even until dawn. I suffered from insubstantial insomnia and there were nights during which I did not sleep a wink. Bad thoughts harassed me and there was no chance that I would free myself from them. The murky mood was coming more and more often, and it refused to get out of my mind.

     I started to completely dislike myself. Looking in the mirror became a macabre vision. I had the impression that as a result of unemployment, I developed a million new wrinkles and aged ten years. I could not even smile seeing my reflection. Why, and for whom, should I smile? The unlucky failure, who’s not able to find a job and cannot cope with depression? The lame duck, which is looking older and fatter day by day? What did this period of unemployment do to me? I looked worse than ever! I could forget about jeans from previous years. When did this happen? How is it possible to gain so much weight in a few months? Scary! How is it possible that I have not noticed it before? Well, it is possible! As I spent most days at home, in stretched tracksuits or without changing out of my pyjamas, it was difficult to notice the additional kilograms. And then there was a shock! After all, I did not even want to know how much I weighed. Such knowledge could at most make me sink even deeper!

     I began to analyse my condition. Did I really devour food like a pig and that's why I put on weight? Well, no, because there were days when I did not eat anything at all. And then, suddenly, I began to feel a murderous hunger and stuffed my stomach with anything, not necessarily healthy. Let's add insomnia to this. Every dietitian will tell us that if we want to lose weight, we have to sleep well. Sleep disturbances negatively affect the fight against being overweight. Well, be wise here and lose weight instead of putting on it! In addition, as a result of depression, instead of three ice skating sessions a week, I had (and in gusts!) four in a month. And I stopped enjoying them because I was moving like a wagon of coal rather than an energetic skater. There was no way to talk about exercising at home either. Lack of strength and constant fatigue effectively prevented me from any physical activity. Especially when there was grey and dun outside the window, and it was raining, the doldrums took over me and there was no chance even for a short walk. So, at the end of the day I was ashamed to show myself to people. Maybe that's why I started to avoid my friends?

    I wondered how to deal with the mood swings and insomnia. Because these two bastards got me lost and moved away from people, exercise and eating regular meals. How many times in the evening did I promise myself that from tomorrow I will get a grip and will not give in to depression? And then what? Next morning, I could hardly get out of bed again, I would do the ritual of looking for a job, and then the day would not go my way again. I did not have an appetite again, I ran out of energy again, all my joints were sore again...

    Unfortunately, no one could magically set me free from the cocoon of depression and dejection. I also could not make myself snap my fingers and suddenly like myself again and live life to its fullest. So, I had to find a golden mean, not to break down and go straight ahead, even though it seemed like a mission impossible. I did not know how my fate would go on and what I would do to find employment and regain my balance. It lasted over a year and I remember this period as the darkest time in my life.

    Suddenly, and completely accidentally, I had blood tests for thyroid disease and diabetes. And the truth came out of the bag! The culprit turned out to be Hashimoto’s - an autoimmune thyroid disease. I did not know anything about it then, so I thought it was enough to start taking medicine and everything would go back to normal. Unfortunately, I was very wrong. So, I started to explore my knowledge in this direction, because without changes in my current lifestyle, normal functioning with this disease, which literally ruins one’s life, is not possible. Sometimes it's as if we were just a shell used by some disgusting, sinister alien who created a private command centre in our head and mercilessly infiltrated us from the inside, inflicting physical and psychological pain. Thyroid disease is a vast topic, so instead of writing more about it, I suggest to watch a short, but very essential video by Patrycja Sawicka (the video is at the end of this article, available with English subtitles).

    It turned out that an appropriate diet is the absolute basis. However, eliminating unsuitable products and balancing meals properly for a layman is an extremely difficult task. Fortunately, I came across a fantastic dietitian, and the diet she offered me became not only a diet, but a new lifestyle that proved to be beneficial for me. Ever since I started to follow the new guidelines, not only was the loss of unnecessary kilograms visible, appearance of the skin also improved, and the inflow of energy and the total change in mood were also noticeable.

   I started to smile and enjoy life again. I returned to the ice rink and started to run every day. I felt like day by day I started to like myself and the world around me again. I began to notice more positive things and finally stopped pitying myself. Hah! It even reached me that I can achieve a lot in my life, I only need to find my way to success.

    With this attitude, I decided not to look for a job anymore, but to try my hand at my own business and finally doing what makes me happy. Job Centre referred me to the NEA (New Entrepreneurs Allowance) programme and accompanying workshops. I wrote a business plan that was accepted by my broker. I set up an online store with my handmade home décor and personalised gifts. When something finally moved and I started to sell items,  suddenly another serious illness occurred – Bell’s palsy, which is paralysis of the right side of the face, as if someone pressed it with an iron, smoothed all wrinkles, blocked facial expressions and blinking. In addition to the abnormal facial expression, it was a huge neurological strain, so I had to say goodbye to developing my own company for the time of convalescence and rehabilitation, which lasted for almost a year.

    And that was when the breakthrough mentioned before happened! I obediently followed the instructions of doctors and physiotherapists and forgot about the material side of life. I rested a lot, exercised my face in front of the mirror and chased out all, even the smallest, grim thoughts, which could bring me unnecessary stress, and which  could affect my health destructively.

    I had plenty of time to think. There was a lot of time for reflection on life, myself, and the surrounding world. It was also a great time to slow down, stop, look around and appreciate everything that’s beautiful in life. It occurred to me that there are so many people who haven’t got a hand or leg or suffer from other serious disabilities. So why would my neurological problem, which will not last forever, give me the right to self-pity? I realised that I am really lucky, have a nice family, devoted friends and there’s no such force to stop me from striving for success. It's funny that a woman in her late thirties enjoyed the wrinkles that were returning to the right side of her face. They signalled improvement in the functioning of the nerve, so I wanted to regain all of them as soon as possible and be fully functional again.

     Unfortunately, the road to full recovery was long. Ever since I remember, I was an incredibly impatient, and hot-headed person. Therefore, beating the disease turned out to be difficult. At that time, I met my life coach - an amazing woman who helped me understand that everything happens for a reason. Yes, that’s right - a sudden illness and struggling from it has happened to me for a reason. What for? To give me the longest, but also the most effective lesson of patience in my entire life. To change my worldview for good, add faith in

myself and my own capabilities. To teach me to appreciate the beauty of what surrounds me - the scent of blooming trees and flowers, the singing of birds, the colours of the sky and the rainbow, the light of the sun and the moon, the touch of wind and flavour of the rain. To appreciate all the thoughtful people in my life and ignore those who could negatively influence me. I believed that my life is in my and only my hands. I can choose in every situation and it only depends on me what decisions I make and what their consequences will be.

   A serious spiritual transformation took place inside of me - a metamorphosis that verified my hierarchy of values ​​and arranged it anew. So, the willingness to help others quickly appeared. I wanted to help those who already know what they would like to change in life, but do not really know how or those who do not know exactly where to start their

transformation. I decided to combine business with pleasure and became a life coach who combines conventional coaching with techniques of therapeutic art in the process of my clients’ transformation. It worked on me, it works on my previous and current customers and it will also affect anyone who wants to change their lives for the better.

You do not have to be an artist to make friends with art. Because everyone can be creative! I know perfectly well how much support, motivation and determination are needed when taking up new challenges and in pursuing the set goals. Indulging in the care of a coach, the path to success becomes simpler, easier and more enjoyable. To those who are not sure if they need a change, as well as those who are sure they want it, I recommend starting with the creation of an individual map of dreams, which should slightly clarify the vision of their own needs.

    Today, in all honesty, I can declare that the illness in my life has certainly appeared for a reason. And this is something of an incredibly great meaning. It taught me a lot, and the lesson I learned from this life experience has created my career path. It's great to do what you love!

  Let me know in the comments if you have experienced a significant breakthrough in your life. What was it? Do you also think that everything happens for a reason? Share your opinions.

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